I’ve received a lot of advice in my life. Some good and some bad. I’ve also given a lot of advice to people. Some good and some bad. Parents, teachers, friends and family are all people we look to for advice. We trust them and look to them when we are looking for answers. Advice usually comes from people who care about us and they want to see us do better and make good choices and decisions. The drawback is that honest advice is given from a set of beliefs and experiences, which may not be what fits our lives.
Many times we look for someone to validate what we are thinking of feeling, to give us the ok to take a certain action, or think a certain way. Other times we look to offload responsibility for our choices and actions. What’s your motivation in seeking out someone’s opinion? It’s always best to first sit with your thoughts, options and choices. Try to feel each one. Many times our bodies know what our minds don’t. When you do seek out advice, don’t jump at anything. Does the suggestion feel right? Does it come from a good place, for your higher good?
Yesterday I put out a request on Facebook: What is the best advice you never got?
I wanted to get an idea of what people wished they had been told. This gives them permission to make an unbiased suggestion in a vacuum, knowing they are not addressing a specific person or situation. It also allows them to give this advice to themselves, reminding them that the best advice often comes from ourselves.
Here is what I received:
- “Good” and “Nice” are not necessarily synonymous, and being Good (for yourself or others) sometimes requires that you will not be seen as “Nice”.
- Take the risk and if it works there are no regrets and if it doesn’t go back to the life you had after and you are always changed by experience.
- I never got the advice to follow my passion. I was encouraged to go a more traditional route. Follow your passion
- It doesn’t matter as much as you think it does
- Everything is changing
- Things aren’t the way they should be. They are the way they are
- Don’t expect to find the perfect balance among all areas of your life (e.g. work, family, interests). They don’t all have to be perfect. Do what you can
- Be the change you want to see in the world
- Don’t make decisions when you’re angry. Don’t make promises when you’re happy
- Find a mentor at any age, at any stage in life
- If you have some money to spare invest in yourself; travel education whatever. No one can ever take that away from you
That is some great advice and ones that I’ll sit with for a while and see how they feel for me. The two that pop out to me are, “Don’t make promises when you’re happy.” It is very true that when we are happy, and the endorphin is running through our system, we have a tendency to say and do things that may not be well thought out. Take a moment. Take a breath.
“Find a mentor,” is incredibly good advice for anyone, no matter who they are or what they’re doing. Life can be difficult, but it’s down right hard going it alone. You don’t have to. Find a mentor. They are out there and they are willing to help.
What’s the best advice you never got? Let me know. @talksouk
Thank you for taking this journey with me. It wouldn’t be the same without you.